Falling
by GloriousPurpose12
Summary: Loki fell from the BiFrost bridge at the end of the first Thor. He vanished into the Void, and encountered many things he hadn't planned on, and suffering at the hands of a galaxy destroying maniac before finding his way back to Earth with dubious (misguided?) intentions. Rated T for potential violence.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**Hey y'all! This is my first Marvel fanfiction, and my first ever fanfiction to be posted. This story us my idea of what could have happened to Loki after he fell from the bridge at the end of the first Thor movie to when we see him again in Avengers. I'm not sure when updates will be posted, at least once a month. I own nothing! Enjoy!**

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"_No, Loki"_

The heavy weight of those damning words crashed into Loki. He felt his grip physically slip as the realization hit him:

He had messed up

He had ruined his chance

He could never go home.

Loki's hand slipped even further down the staff. On the other end, Thor looked at him in a panic. Why he was still holding on to the staff was a mystery, if Loki were his brother, he wouldn't be helping out the one who had tried to kill him. Loki's gaze travelled up. Odin was still holding onto Thor, but Loki would never know if he also wanted to save his other son.

Still, Loki paused.

He wanted to go back, but how could he?

He wanted his family, but how could he face the family he had betrayed?

He wanted to banish the guilt and shame, but He couldn't face himself.

In the space of a second, Loki methodically thought through what would happen. There was no shot in Hel that he would be welcomed back as if nothing had happened. He didn't deserve to be, anyways. But… Thor was still holding on, terror that Loki would give up scrawled all over his face. But… It wasn't really _giving up_, was it? It was… strategic.

And so, Loki let go.

And he fell

But he never looked away.

The heartbreak on Thor's face was crushing, as was the guilt and sudden self-loathing. But it was too late now… no going back. It was for the best.

_How long must one fall for? _Loki thought irritably. So much time had passed since he had dropped, he was somehow getting hungry. For what had felt like hours, Loki had sobbed, and wrestled with remorse and disgust for his decision - but also relief and satisfaction. Over and over again he had replayed the fight with Thor, Odin's last words to him, and the array of expressions across his brother's face. Of course, Loki hadn't expected to hit the ground, as he was dropping into an open expanse of space, but he also hadn't expected for the Void to be so forgiving.

Well… forgiving was the wrong word. Loki was already having trouble forming complete thoughts… and-and well, he was going somewhere with that thought…

Oh. Right. He couldn't keep track of time either, he had no sense of how long he had been plummeting towards what he thought would be certain doom.

Forgiving… the Void was- was _not_ forgiving. Even though he was pretty certain that he was still alive, Loki wasn't just peacefully floating.

No, the Void had not been meant for living creatures, that much was clear. Loki felt his skin crawling as though raked with knives, trying to escape itself. Every nerve in his skin was alternatively on fire, or so cold it felt like an inferno. His seidr was spinning and unraveling nauseatingly within him, becoming so thick and tangible that he was beginning to choke. It felt almost like a snake constricting about his throat. The deeper within himself Loki tried to escape, the more his seidr swelled, and the more his self-deprecating thoughts grew in volume, and-

He was drowning.

All he could hear… was Thor yelling, his mother whispering, and Odin snarling.

_Know your place!_

_What can they do but burn?_

_The Jotun are monsters! I would destroy them all!_

_You are not a god._

_You will never be one of us._

_You should have died as an infant._

_They didn't want you, why should we?_

_Monster_

_Demon_

_Mistake_

Loki was vaguely conscience of a raw, stabbing feeling in his throat. His eyes burned, and his face was wet. He was suddenly aware of the fact that he was screaming, and he hadn't realized because he couldn't hear a thing. "_Probably the… probably the... ' _The thought shattered before he could make sense of it, the shards digging through his brain, mixing with the burning, tearing pain racing through him. He writhed, trying to escape his own body. A low whine cut off his scream as a deep ache settled through the storm of pain.

Loki woke suddenly, his eyes flying open and his body flinching violently. He couldn't see anything, he couldn't touch anything. '_I - where- how? Thor?' _His breathing shook and stuck in his chest. None of the panic abated as he remembered where he was.

The Void.

Somewhere in the space between space, his atoms either freezing off one by one, or being burned at miniature stakes while the others danced drunkenly around their tortured comrades.

And Thor wasn't going to come for him. '_Of course, why would he? Quite apart from the fact that you're a monster, a traitor, a murderer, a liar, and weak, he thinks you're dead. You should be dead.'_

'_Yeah, well, I tried. I guess the whole dying thing just didn't work out.' _Just as Loki was about to retort to himself, a whole new level of pain crashed into him like a stampede of Bilgesnipes.

Tiny little tears ripped across his dry, burnt-feeling skin as Loki thrashed against the pain and nonexistent bonds of the Void. He choked and coughed, blood filling his mouth as his silent scream once again ripped through his lips.

Then suddenly, he could breathe again.

And, Sleipners mane, he could hear himself scream, like a pathetic dog.

That was new… he could feel air whistling past his skin, and could hear his whimpers and whines.

'_Am I… what happened to the Void? Maybe I-'_

The thought was slammed away as his foot smashed into something, sending him spinning. Sickeningly got pain flashed up his leg, and he couldn't feel his foot. Loki finally wrenched open his eyes. Desperate to see how far he was falling.

But he… '_where is everything_?' Couldn't see anything but gaping blackness. Loki barely proceeded this before his shoulder rammed into something, most likely dislocating or breaking something, and the air was knocked out of his battered lungs. He could hear the air, and the crunch of rock and soul beneath him as the rest of his body glanced off a surface, and started to roll along a steep slope. Loki's motion was stopped abruptly as his body slammed into a tree and everything fled deep within his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Rough ground dragged by underneath his back. Pebbles and crumples of dirt finding their way under his armor and into his tunic. Dizziness swirled around as he couldn't tell what direction he was being dragged-

'_What the-'_

Loki's eyes snapped open. He kicked his feet frantically and rolled into his stomach, pushing himself up and sprinting away. Loki glanced over his shoulder and saw an odd looking greyish humanoid with three legs. It had an elongated face and rough skin. Loki stumbled as his side throbbed. He couldn't breathe right. He heard the creature close behind him, and Loki abruptly stopped running, side stepped, and crouched down. The creature lunged past him, but swiveled quickly. Loki jumped at the creature while it was still turning, and he sank his knives into its chest. The thing roared and twisted violently, surprising Loki with its strength and sent him rolling away. The being crouched to the ground, keening noisily, as Loki clambered to his feet. Loki sheathed his knives in his dimensional pocket, then illused himself as the being kneeling before him. He then turned, and started to limp away.

'_What is that creature?' _He wondered as he stumbled away. '_And why haven't I heard about it? Or read about it?' _Many of Loki's fondest childhood memories were of him curled up somewhere with a book - sometimes alone, and sometimes with his mother. Loki stopped suddenly, grasping his side. '_Where am I even going?' _He thought, wincing at his own stupidity. '_I don't have a plan, so I'm just wandering?'_ He turned back to see the creature who had attacked him. It was still huddled on the ground, moaning softly. '_I could either try and interrogate it, or I could put it out of its misery.' _ The longer Loki stared at the pathetic being, the more he felt guilt about leaving it to bleed out. It clearly wasn't going to improve. '_Don't be stupid… You don't necessarily want to go near a hostile entity, especially an unknown one.' _Loki swayed on the spot, gasping for breath. The ground appeared to be twirling, and Loki suddenly slammed into something hard, and the pain in his side spiked deeper into his body. '_Oh.' _He realized. '_That was the ground.' _He rolled onto his back, struggling to breathe. Loki remained still on the rough ground, not bothering to try and heal himself. He figured that he wouldn't have enough strength to help himself anyways.

Loki indistinctly heard footsteps approaching where he lay prone. He opened his eyes, realizing as he did so that he hadn't been aware of closing them.

"-ave here?" Loki could barely make out the words of the blurry figure leaning over him. And, honestly, he didn't care. The surge of adrenaline that had prompted him to kill the grey creature was nowhere to be found as the humanoid nudged him with a boot.

"It's still alive!"

"Is it conscious?" There was a brief moment of silence before the voice answered.

"Yes."  
"Interesting… bring it back with us." Loki couldn't be bothered to decipher the simple words, and slipped into blackness as pain shot through his head.

Something rubbed against his face, clamping his mouth shut and squeezing into his skull. Loki came to slowly, squirming as he struggled to breath around the muzzle.

_Laughter. High pitched laughter. Low pitched laughter. Snorting, wheezing. The boys shoved each other around, hefting sticks that they had found in the woods. Golden sunlight glinted through the towering trees. Golden light just like golden boy's golden hair. They all flocked around him, pushing and punching playfully. They all loved to hang off Thor, and Loki couldn't remember why he had wanted to come in the first place. Naturally, one thing lead to another and before much time had passed the rest of the boys had started up a wrestling ring. _

"_Come on, Loki!" Thor waved to his brother, beckoning him to the ring. Loki snorted, rolling his eyes._

"_Why? What is the point in fighting you? Are you in desperate need of an ego boost? Or would you just like to squash mine a bit?"_

"_Nonsense! Come on, brother, why bother coming with us if you're just going to watch?" Thor prompted. He grinned. "Are you scared you won't win a single fight? Surely you can best _one _of us." Loki snarled calmly. _

"_Scared isn't quite the word I would use. Perhaps, 'overly-confident in your and your friends prowess in brute strength' would be a better phrase." He snipped lightly. Thor laughed, and one of his friends spoke up._

"_He's scared. He knows he's gonna go down." The friend snorted. Another boy punched Loki in the shoulder.  
_"_He's too scrawny to fight. Reads to much." The group chuckled. Loki nodded sincerely, but was secretly hurt by their words. It was no great secret that Loki wasn't a great fighter, or that he was rather physically smaller than most warriors. And, of course, princes were expected to be able to fight. They were supposed to be gleaming, sculpted, _gods. _And Loki just so happened to be the god of mischief. Not fighting, or hammers, or thunder, or muscle. And while he was used to sneering at his brother's antics, the constant scorn wore down at his resolve, like saltwater on a shining sword. _

"_Well, it's obvious that you all don't read enough." He snapped. "Muscles will only get you so far, but in order to succeed at pretty much anything, you could do with at least _some _intellect." Alright. So maybe it wasn't exactly his most brilliant move, simultaneously insulting a bunch of jocks with anger issues in the middle of the woods, but he couldn't help himself. He was right. It wasn't smart. It was kind of funny, honestly, watching them all try and comprehend the sentence, and quickly boiling over, all of them turning the exact same shade of red. Loki couldn't look at Thor's face, however, he didn't want to see the genuine hurt he knew he would find. _

"_Why you little-" Loki dodged the first punch, and side-stepped the next. There were, however, six of them and precisely one of him. Loki backed into a tree quickly and slid to the ground, bringing his legs in front of his chest and his arms over his head as the boys jumped on him, fists swinging and feet striking. He closed his eyes, silently cowering. _

"_Stop- STOP!" the attacks stopped suddenly. Loki grinned into his legs, a small groan escaping. Thor yanked the last boy off his brother. "You can't just beat him up! You're ganging up on him, literally kicking him while he's down!" The indignation in Thor's voice made Loki snicker, the amuesment burning away any pain. _

"_Yeah, listen to your handler, you hounds." He snarled, rising to his feet and brushing off his clothes. _

_Wow. Okay. He was clearly not having a very brilliant day. Thor turned, stunned offense scrawled over his face. Loki couldn't help it, he laughed quietly. _

"_I can't help you if you invite them to beat you up, Loki." Thor whispered sadly as his friends howled in outrage. _

"_Thor we can't just take this abuse!" _

"_It's dishonorable!"_

"_He's begging for it!" _

_Thor glanced between his brother and his friends, torn. Loki spoke up before they could jump him again._

"_I won't fight you. It's immoral to kick puppies." Interesting. Apparently they could get redder. _

"_What is wrong with you?" Thor asked, finally stepping aside. "Come on, brother." He groaned. Loki laughed as no one moved. They were too confused to figure out what to do with an opponent who wouldn't fight, yet was so clearly provoking them.  
_"_Well," snapped one of the boys. "If he won't fight us, the least we can do is shut him up." _

_Thor looked at him with mild alarm. "Don't hurt him." The boy grinned maliciously, stalking towards Loki.  
_"_Oh, I won't." Loki tried to run away, but the other boys circled him, pinning him in. They grabbed and restrained him as the boy removed his belt. Loki squirmed frantically, but couldn't budge. Thor stepped forward._

"_What…" The boy gestured calmly._

"_Chill out. I said I'm not going to hurt him." Thor hesitated, but didn't move forward anymore. Loki twisted panickedly, wrenching his arms fiercely. One of the boys holding him growled and shoved his arm forward. Loki yelped as something popped, fire licking through his shoulder and down his back and arm. The boy reached him and grabbed his hair, immobilizing Loki's head. The insane, raging fire burning in his eyes scared Loki._

"_No, please no, stop-" He said. He _whined. '_You disgusting, mewling quim.' He snarled at himself. The boy grinned, then wrapped the belt around Loki's head, forcing the stiff leather into his mouth, then _pulled_, squeezing the bones in his face, rubbing against his skin. The buckle fastened, and the metal dug into the side of his face, pinching and grinding painfully. Thor couldn't help himself. He heard Loki groan and lunged forward._

"_What are you doing?" He shoved his friend aside, reaching for his brother. Loki yanked his head out of Thor's hands. The other boys shoved Thor aside._

"_Sorry Thor, but your brother is always picking fights. He's gotta learn to shut up." One of them said, apologetically. Another turned to Loki and shoved him to the ground, laughing._

"_You called us the dogs, but look who has on a muzzle." Loki's hands flew to his face, frantically trying to undo the clasp, his breathing coming in panicked gasps. The boys laughed as he struggled, and a foot flew out, catching him in the ribs and knocking him over._

_Loki curled in on himself as some of the boys lashed out at him, and the others tried to stop their friends._

Loki gasped for air, struggling to breathe around the metal muzzle bound around his face. His eyes snapped open as his heart pounded. He was in a very dark, small room that appeared to be made out of metal. It was freezing, but, of course, Loki didn't mind that at all. That was perhaps the only comforting feature about his room, however. As he choked for air, he barely managed to notice that not only did he have a metal muzzle on, but his hands were bound behind his back and fastened to the wall by a length of a chain. He couldn't stop choking.

'_Breathe, you fool.' _He spat at himself. Easier said than done. Panic coursed through his blood and he still. Couldn't. Breathe. '_Idiot!' _Loki flinched in alarm as he realized that his vision was fading, and he felt frighteningly dizzy. '_Stupid…' _He couldn't even finish addressing himself as he slumped completely to the ground, the frozen ground embracing him.


	3. Chapter 3

It was hard to tell time while sitting in dark solitude on a different planet. Loki didn't know where he was or what had captured him. Every so often, he'd catch himself thinking through memories from his childhood that he hadn't thought of in years. His mind skipped all over, and Loki had the strangest feeling that someone was listening in.

Of course, it was possible to read minds, but Loki hadn't come across anyone (save Frigga) who could break through even his unconcious shields. Whenever a particularly sensitive memory surfaced, Loki instinctively clamped down, throwing up barriers and obscuring the memory with shadows. Or at least, he tried.

Every attempt sent a wave of pain flooding through his chest, hands, and head. Loki presumed the cause of it to be the muzzle around his head and the iron-like sleeves obscuring his hands. Gradually, he forced himself to relax. There was no fighting it, and what did it matter if they knew who he was, truly?

It felt like days had passed, and still no one had appeared in his cell. Loki had tried pacing, but there wasn't much room, and it was decidedly awkward with how his hands were tied. He was growing annoyed, actually. His wounds were aching, he hadn't had food or water in who knew how long, and still they just left him there. What was the point? The mental interrogation didn't seem particularly useful - they didn't find many secrets, and it wasn't focused on Asgard's or Midgard's military strengths and weaknesses. Just relentless pawing through childhood memories. Small blessings. Loki couldn't bear it if he were to give an unknown enemy reason or advantage to attack Asgard.

As much as he hated his conditions, at least it was kept at a frigid temperature. It seemed to help his wounds heal faster. Soon enough, however, even this tiny comfort would be taken away.

"_I'm the monster parents tell their children about a night?"_

Loki flinched as the memory of that day reared up. He watched Odin fall, but just as Loki was yelling for help, the memory repeated itself, starting with when Loki had picked up the casket and watched as his hands turned blue.

He couldn't help himself - he tried frantically to fling up a shield. Shocks stabbed his hands and face. The memory started to play again, but Loki refused to give up this time. The electricity increased, growing so frequent that the metal began to heat up. He couldn't stop, even as the metal burned his hands and blistered on his face. The memory reared up again, but Loki was locked in an endless cycle. He would instinctively try to heal himself, only for the burns to worsen. He'd block the memory, only for it to grow louder. He tried pulling away from the chains, desperately attempting to pull the muzzle from his head, only to end up on the ground quivering in pain.

He could feel his skin blistering, and he tried to scream out. The pain ricocheted through his body and, oddly enough, the metal lining his face and hands felt freezing cold.

Gradually, Loki became aware that the metal had stopped heating up. The pain was still radiating from the burns, but the metal was cooling down.

Abruptly, a door was slammed open. Before then, Loki hadn't been able to distinguish the door from the wall. He squinted up at the looming figure, blinking back tears.

"Stop!" Loki didn't move. Stop what? It wasn't like he could do much. "If you keep attempting magic, the binds will kill you."

Loki tried to push himself into a more dignified sitting position, but even the slightest pressure on his hands was agonizing. He settled for glaring at the shadowy humanoid addressing him. It crouched next to him.

"We're not trying to kill you." Loki was shivering. "We just need to know we can trust you." Loki rolled his eyes. The figure stood up slowly, turning to leave. "Let us get to know, then we'll decide if we can free you."

As soon as the door was closed. The memory started back up. This time, Loki didn't try to stop it.


End file.
